June 20, 2026

Ironic right?

I'm writing this section to a website where the domain is my full name, full of personal information, and linking to my github account. Strangely I don't feel too bothered by this, despite caring deeply about privacy on and off the internet. Something like this is very much out of character for me, but I suppose being paranoid about it won't work forever, especially as the internet changes before my eyes. It still doesn't sit right with me how quickly things seem to have changed, and i'm not sure how to cope with that.

As I mentioned, my parents were video gamers, and I luckily was educated somewhat on being safe online. Partially because I was child, partially because that was normal at the time. By no means was I around for the early days of the internet, but I was around before the centralization of nearly everything, and it was essentially beaten into me that anything I ever post will be there forever. Giving out my first name was sacred and only close online friends would have that privledge, and even then I preferred to be known as an alias or nickname.

In today's internet not only does it feel expected to overshare, it is forced onto us. You get funny looks for caring about privacy, as if everyone has just decided anonymity is a thing of the past, and I don't think I could ever come fully to terms with that. Creating accounts completely detached from a real identity is basically impossible, and age verification is becoming more and more common. I am grateful to have grown up in a time where I could be brutally myself, a time I could explore the world and my identity-my beliefs. I met many adults who simply taught me to be a decent human, who genuinely cared about giving me good mentorship, people I feel are responsible for a lot of who I became. Not only would I be uncomfortable doing that in the modern internet, I don't think it would even be possible.

So how did we get here? Was it social media? Smart phones? The nearly 24/7 connectivity we have? Why do we put up with these companies collecting excessive data with their excuses? I simply do not buy that you NEED this information to operate. If I try to make an account with your service and am asked to provide a phone number to "prove im not a bot", maybe its not worth using that service. I feel very similarly about it as I do video game anticheats, if you need kernel access to even let me play your game to verify im not cheating, i'm just not going to play your game. It feels like a spit in the face, figure out a better solution. Google demanding my phone number to make an email isn't fixing a bot issue, and that anticheat certainly isnt stopping those scum. The true degenerates will always find a way around it, and it becomes just a tax on the honest. Like people say, locks wont stop someone determined to steal your shit, at best it stops a theft of opportunity.

I really tried to find a solution to not having a smartphone. I am 100% convinced having a pocket computer is a net negative on my life that I am forced to live with. I despise the fact that people can contact me on any and every whim, and I hate feeling expected to be "plugged in" constantly. I forget where I heard it, but I love to point out that the computer used to be in a room, when you left that room you left the internet behind. Now the computer is in your pocket, and it goes everywhere with you. My breaking point with smartphones is when my pocket computer updated to add AI features I did not want. It legitimately caused me a lot of stress and concern because I felt like I could no longer trust the device. I now have a google pixel running grapheneOS, at least I can feel like I own and control my pocket computer now. I get to decide what's on it, what Google gets to infect, when it updates; if I decide that I want to turn off my microphone, camera, or location, I am free to do that.

At the end of the day, I don't feel like us apes were supposed to have lives this interconnected with technology. Maybe it's a me problem, but it just feels wrong. My brain didn't evolve to be able to have instant access to information, the world is literally at my fingertips, and its overwhelming as fuck. I think unplugging is healthy, and required in order to live a fulfilling life. We simply weren't made to permanently online and reachable.